You stupid blank piece of paper.
I HATE YOU. You suck!
Why do I hate you? Because you're taunting me. I can't think of anything to write! It's like some little brat who's sticking his tongue out at me because my car is right behind his. Is that a good analogy? I DON'T CARE!!! I have writers' block! I just. Want. To write. SOMETHING!!!
Okay, calm down. Let's see here, maybe I can write about that time I went to the World Series game. No, that's not gonna work. I already did it. Okay, maybe something about my favorite character? But which one? Maybe a song. Wait, I suck at poetry. JEEZ this is a nightmare!
You stupid piece of paper! Quit mocking me like that! Hey! I'm warning you.
Maybe I could write an idealized version of me when I was a kid. Wait, everyone's done that. Perhaps I could write a mystery? No, I'm not a good at that. A fantasy? Too much Tolkien. ARGH! This is--
Wait. Oh, jeez. This is all my fault, isn't it? I keep telling myself I can't write something. Ugh! I'm my own worst enemy. Alright. I'll think of something to write and I won't get mad at myself.
"It was a dark and stormy night." Damn.
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